chan_ottokar

(sorry for how this may read, it was copy-pasted from a AIM rant.)
Wednesday my dad, my uncle and I will be in the state capital at a state congressional hearing where my uncle will speak on behalf of the family in support of a law that will increase restrictions on elderly drivers and require them to be tested more often... hopefully it will save some lives...my uncle was killed Oct 21, 2006 by an elderly man who had been diagnosed with Parkinsons disease, and on medication for it while driving... it is my belief that doctors for elderly people, should have the same reporting obligations as they do for sexual assault cases, for elderly drivers... if they diagnose and prescribe meds to someone, they should be obligated to report it to the dmv or the state...hell the warning on the Parkinsons medication says it may induce hallucinations and psychotic behavior... and its ok to drive with this in your system? and the old man, his fine...$73...running a fucking stop sign is $100+ in Keene, NH. fucking more than killing someone...he got charged with a failure to yield a right of way.. thats it... the police, DA, nor the old man even tried to recognize that my uncle was killed...when the man was brought in for his driving hearing, and had his license revoked... he came into the court room, and argues, in front of my family, that he paid his $73 and shouldn't have to be there

So hopefully HB 878 will help save the lives of others what might have been lost in an accident caused by someone that shouldn't have been on the road.

RED115

The sweet smell of a great sorrow lies over the land
Plumes of smoke rise and merge into the leaden sky:
A man lies and dreams of green fields and rivers,
But awakes to a morning with no reason for waking

He's haunted by the memory of a lost paradise
In his youth or a dream, he can't be precise
He's chained forever to a world that's departed
It's not enough, it's not enough

His blood has frozen & curdled with fright
His knees have trembled & given way in the night
His hand has weakened at the moment of truth
His step has faltered

One world, one soul
Time pass, the river rolls

It's not enough it's not enough
His hand has faltered
.... .... ......

And he talks to the river of lost love and dedication
And silent replies that swirl invitation
Flow dark and troubled to an oily sea
A grim intimation of what is to be

There's an unceasing wind that blows through this night
And there's dust in my eyes, that blinds my sight
And silence that speaks so much louder that words,
Of promises broken

So, I've been living with my dad for the last bit and we've been working on his '58 Harley trike. Before my uncle passed away in October of last year he had been working on restoring my dads trike, but hadn't been able to finish the job before the accident. Afraid we would lose the trike in attempts to cover the expenses revolving around my uncles passing, my dad bought back the trike (paying for the work done over the past year or so by my uncle. Well, after many long nights in the basement sanding and grinding we more-or-less have the body work done, and brought the pieces out this morning to see how they fit on the frame. Everything looks good, and if all goes well we should get to paint it next weekend!

Hey all... I know I don't often post here, but i'm looking for help. I would really like to hit mike's event on Sunday, but I am unsure at this time if i will have a ride. I know that I will be in Worcester on Saturday for Aaron's event, but I do not know if my ride there is planning on hitting the event in CT. If anyone has any idea or any thoughts on figuring this out or would like to help please let me know.

Thanks in advance,
Adam

You scored as Judge. You are a Judge Empath, one who is a "truthsayer". You can tell truth from lies, good from evil. You do not tolerate wrong doing. You are a defender of the good and the innocent. You are kind and merciful but do not play foolish games. (from "The Book of Storms" by Jad Alexander at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Empaths/) </td> Judge 85% Artist 75% Universal 65% Traveler 65% Precog 60% Fallen Angel 60% Healer 55% Shaman 50% What Kind of Empath Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

Third Eye Blind
» Motorcycle Drive By

Summer time and the wind is blowing outside
In lower Chelsea and I don't know
What I'm doing in this city
The sun is always in my eyes
It crashes through the windows
And I'm sleeping on the couch
When I came to visit you
That's when I knew I could never have you
I knew that before you did
Still I'm the one who's stupid
And there's this burning
Like there's always been
I never been so alone
And I've never been so alive
Visions of you on a motorcycle drive by
The cigarette ash flies in your eyes
And you don't mind, you smile
And say the world doesn't fit with you
I don't believe you, you're so serene
Careening through the universe
Your axis on a tilt, you're guiltless and free
I hope you take a piece of me with you
And there's things I'd like to do
That you don't believe in
I would like to build something
But you never see it happen
And there's this burning
Like there's always been
I've never been so alone
And I've, I've never been so alive
And there's this burning
There is this burning
Where's the soul I want to know
New York City is evil
The surface is everything but I could never do that
Someone would see through that
And this is our last time
We'll be friends again
I'll get over you, you'll wonder who I am
And there's this burning
Just like there's always been
I've never been so alone alone
And I've, and I've never been so alive
So alive
I go home to the coast
It starts to rain I paddle out on the water
Alone
Taste the salt and taste the pain
I'm not thinking of you again
Summer dies and swells rise
The sun goes down in my eyes
See this rolling wave
Darkly coming to take me
Home
And I've never been so alone
And I've never been so alive

<td align="center"> Chan Ottokar --
[adjective]:

Fuzzy to the touch

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

Wide awakened out of spinning
Round the safest orbit
You controlled the ordinary
I was grateful for it
Wide awake in the beginning
Trembling after the fall
Only half my world remembers
While the other half revolves

Cut off cause I can’t remember
A face that could cut me deeper
But hearts could never leave me bleeding
Becoming the cause and burden
The lesson begins unlearning
And it has never been forgiving my dear

It’s all too familiar
I’ve been here before
I’ll carry this weight for your smallest reward
Because I’ll continue to break down the door
Just let me in I swear
It will not be like before

Can’t think of what to say
I can’t think of what to do
I just think I might be losing my mind
Can’t stop this agony
Cancel my therapy cause
I just thought of you
and now I feel fine

Collecting the strangest conscience
Apathy returns it’s offense
But only after I get moving
Relax and being the change
In time for the newest age
To help me find out what I’m missing in here

I covered all the ground till I uncovered our design
And every second I have spent has come to remind me in time

The sweet smell of a great sorrow lies over the land
Plumes of smoke rise and merge into the leaden sky:
A man lies and dreams of green fields and rivers,
But awakes to a morning with no reason for waking

He's haunted by the memory of a lost paradise
In his youth or a dream, he can't be precise
He's chained forever to a world that's departed
It's not enough, it's not enough

His blood has frozen & curdled with fright
His knees have trembled & given way in the night
His hand has weakened at the moment of truth
His step has faltered

One world, one soul
Time pass, the river rolls

It's not enough it's not enough
His hand has faltered
.... .... ......

And he talks to the river of lost love and dedication
And silent replies that swirl invitation
Flow dark and troubled to an oily sea
A grim intimation of what is to be

There's an unceasing wind that blows through this night
And there's dust in my eyes, that blinds my sight
And silence that speaks so much louder that words,
Of promises broken

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance

Brothers.

With recent events in mind, I sat down with my father and watched the movie "Gettysburg". Through out this movie it traces the life of two brothers, both officers of the Union forces and members of one of the Maine regiments, Lawrence and Thomas Chamberlain. Throughout the battle that ensued on those three devastating days these two stuck together and pushed through whatever was thrown in front of them. Their force of no more than five hundred men survived a relentless assault from the enemy troops as the end of the line. They were not a allowed to flee or give up their position, they were the flank and they new if they fell the rest of the Union army would fall with them. The were to stick it out and fight to the last. They did. After several volleys with the enemy forces they found their men without much strength and out of ammunition. What did they do next? Knowing that there was not much left to do? How could they fight off the on coming enemy forces without ammunition and strength? They rallied to troops and gave the one call that no one at the time would be pleased to hear, "Fix Bayonets". But without complaint or word every man followed the order, knowing well the gravity of the situation. And when the time came that the march order was given the Brothers forces marched down the hill and without any display of fear walked over the oncoming enemy troops taking back the land that they for so long fought to keep. They themselves, no more than five hundred men, stopped an entire corp of the southern army, they held together the Union army and held their ground at Little Round Top. For the remainder of the battle at Gettysburg the surviving hundred men of the original five were placed in reserves and supported the line that was the target of fateful Picket's Charge. As luck may be, after the end of the war both of these brothers made it home.

After I have watched this movie it made me think a lot about recent events. It has made me realize how much a brother really means to the other, and just how much that bond keeps them going. With the current war that I am fighting within me, the war for my sanity as you may look at it, I used to think I was alone and such, but now I know that whatever I do and how impossible I may be at times, he will be there and he wont be alone. I thank everyone who has put up with me to this point and who are willing to stand with me until the end. I hope soon that this will all be over and the true me will be walking around again. But until then, I appreciate all your support and hope to get some time to spend with all those that I don't just call friend because that word is not strong enough to describe all you are willing to give. If anything, you all are family. That includes all of you. And I mean it. Anyone who has ever been there for me. If there was anything I could do to repay you, you know I would. Id give anything, and will always be there. I love you all.

Polar Bear some day soon will rise and walk again.

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What type of Bishounen are you? Find out at artificial-soul.net by Rin.

This past weekend was a blast. I was able to spend the entire time with friends and enjoyed myself more that I have been able to lately. It seems that lately, due to the help and companionship of several incredibly awesome people, I have been able to step away from my past. I just hope that I will be able to keep the distance that I have gained, and that I will be able to move on. Thanks.

I wish I knew what to do.

You sit in silence in the shadows
You don't complain or citicise
And while the world may see me as a fool
They're not looking through your eyes
No questions asked
You're there
When I need you
With a love that inspires
Me to be
Everything you deserve
Cause you're my
Unsung hero
And I know it's not easy
To walk in your shoes
Day after day
You continue to amaze me
Now I sing this song of love
For you
While other long to steal the spotlight
You work your magic quietly
Cause you're not in it for the glory
The love you give comes naturally
I may not have much
What I have
I give it to you
This song that I sing
Is my gift
And I swear that I mean every word
Cause you're my
Unsung hero
And I know it's not easy
To walk in your shoes
Day after day
You continue to amaze me
Now I sing this song of love
For you
My unsung hero
And I know it's not easy
To walk in your shoes
Day after day
You continue to amaze me
Now I sing this song of love
For you
Now I sing this song of love
For you
Sing this song of love
Sing this song of love
I'll sing it for you baby
Sing it for you
You are my hero

How can one put into words what even the most astute mind has trouble perceiving? In life there are people and connections that whose character and definition can only be described through reoccuring natural patterns. Between people, these connections can fuse body and soul into eternal friendship and even love. Over time these connections may appear to breakdown and weaken, but actually it is at this time where these connections are at their strongest point, for it is then that the mind fails to indicate the connection because it has been assimilated into the norm. Even though these connections may seem to never break, there are times when it is stretched so thin that those people connected may begin to lose faith and hope. Months ago a connection that had propelled my life for nearly two years seemed to disappear. My mind, being willing to let go, moved on, but my heart was not able to do so. For several month my heart panged with hopes and dreams that this other would come back into my life, but these desires were not granted. Then I met another, merely a friend, who I may proudly say that I am glad that this person entered my life. From being around this person for very little time I began to see a remarkable likeness to the one I lost several months past. Through mannerisms and character, and desire to help and care this new friend mirrorred the old. Finally, for the first time in months I did not feel as alone. This new friend did not fill the empty spot in my heart, for that is forever belonging to the old, but instead was able to help teach me to move on. Being around this person is therapeutic in such a way that after hours together, I no longer hunger to reforge the old connection. I have now been able to learn that everything happens for a reason and that instead of dwelling on the past, I should begin to live in the now, enjoy myself and take what life throws at me with open arms. I cannot say that I no longer care about the connection I lost months back, but I know that it still exist and that one day, if fate is on my side it will be reforged. So, to all my recently acquire friends who have been supported in all of my recent troubles I'd like to say "Thanks", and that I am greatly honored to have such wonderful people in my life. Maybe someday a little of your compasion and caring will rubb off on me.

Thanks.